Jesus Loves Me

Obviously, Jesus loves me. He loved me enough to step out of Heaven and onto earth, becoming a man to die on the cross so that my sins would be covered by a perfect sacrifice, so that I could come to know the Father.

That alone is more than my mortal mind can comprehend.

Because He loves me, He cares for me. What matters to me matters to Him, too.

Last week, I was invited to and attended a party. You know the type, where basically, a bunch of ladies gather to hear another lady talk about the products she is selling and the party guests buy things. Their hostess is often awarded gifts based on the amount sold at her party.

The party I attended last week was a good one. There were really lovely things for the home and I could easily go through and mark many things I'd love to use in our home once all the painting is finished. And once I could afford it.

I even considered becoming a consultant.

I attended another party last night with the same basic principles. The themes for this party were purses and jewelry. The hostess said that I shouldn't feel pressured to buy anything. But I couldn't, anyway, so that kind of alleviated any pressure. :-)

I only went to the party to mingle with neighbors, to get out of the house. I'm not a purse girl, so that didn't appeal to me as much. Besides, I didn't really dig the pink designer-like purses that were so plentiful.

I'm not really a jewelry person, either. I used to wear only my wedding set, when I could still wear them. When I wear jewelry, it's usually the same silver hoops or a silver bracelet. Nothing fancy. Not a lot and not very often.

I saw a set that I liked. But, you know. So, I was going to leave when they were gathering for a game. I felt as though I should stay. I did, and in doing so won $25 worth of free jewelry. Funny, it was the exact amount I needed for these:

It's not a big thing or even a remotely important thing. For the next month, the most important things to me will be getting school clothes for my oldest and birthday party supplies and presents for my youngest. No, this was a small thing. A small, lovely, beautiful thing that I like. But in reading this book, I'm realizing that God appreciates those lovely, beautiful things, however small or seemingly insignificant, and He put in me the desire for beauty, inside and out.

A little love wink, straight from Heaven.

A Merry Christmas

Only 30 minutes are left to Christmas Day 2009.

Hubby and my oldest are already asleep. The little one had fallen asleep but is awake now. I turned the news down so I could hear her chatter.

No, my first family, grandmothers, aunts, uncles and cousins still do not have power.

No, I didn't get to travel to where I grew up to spend Christmas Eve and Morning.

But my girls are healthy and happy. They woke up and had a wonderful day. Did they notice that the average price of their gifts was lower this year than last? Nope. Did they notice anything other than the grand joy of the day? It didn't seem that they knew anything but giddy happiness today.

And my heart is full and thankful.

We read the story of the birth of Jesus from the book of Luke. We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. My oldest proclaimed this "the best Christmas ever!"

Boy, was my heart full and thankful!

I got to speak to my parents and one grandmother, but not for long. But the conversation was long enough to learn that everyone was ok. Everyone is anxious for the electricity to be restored (at this point, about 7 days and counting). We have decided that once it's back on and everyone can get back to normal--and get to a grocery store--we WILL celebrate Christmas as a family. Even if it's the middle of January.

I told my Mom that if we are looking for a silver lining in that--and trust me, after nearly a week like this, we have to--it would be that by celebrating on a different day, our schedules should be more relaxed. Hopefully, we won't have to rush to be somewhere else by a certain time. Hopefully, we can slow down, enjoy each other and really be together, thankful for a baby that was born to save us. That's the whole point of Christmas.

This Christmas wasn't the picture perfect scene depicted in countless movies and songs. But it was perfect in that my little family was together and my girls were happy.

Not Wanting to Miss Christmas

All sorts of thoughts are swirling in my head today.

"I wonder if my parents have electricity yet."

"I wonder if my grandma, the one who lives alone, is ok. I wish I could get in touch with her."

"I wish I could get all the cookies baked and delivered, but between cleaning my kitchen (it needed it! Being sick has put me way behind on everything) and two little people needing an endless list of everything and all my attention, I doubt that will happen."

This is turning out to be a tougher Christmas season that I had anticipated. For starters, I quit my part-time retail job at the end of October so I could train for some work-from-home stuff. But then we didn't have the money to buy equipment I would need, so here I am, having paid for the training, but not training.

Another reason I quit was because I wanted to be able to enjoy Christmas this year. Last year was crazy; I worked 5 and 6 days a week. Last year, I had more money but little time. This year, I had more time but little money. We knew it would be tight but thought we'd be able to do everything we always have.

But then the furnace went out. And the tire nearly completely came off the car when a ball bearing broke. And those two hiccups in November made a big difference for December. Then Paul's bonus was less than last year's. Couple those things with us trying to be REALLY faithful and good stewarts, not spending beyond our means, thanks to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University... and this year is nothing like years past. No Christmas cards. No gifts for our parents or grandparents. Or each other. Fewer stocking stuffers for the girls. (A year or two ago, we started getting them 3 toys each, plus a bag of clothes, puzzles and books, so the gift part has been cut back for a while.) Everything is... less.

In my head and heart, I know that Christmas isn't about the presents. I know the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas, which is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

But this year, it feels different because it's by necessity and not a choice. Though we had previously tried to cut out the excess of Christmas, this year, we are cutting back because we have to.

For a person who LOVES giving gifts, that is REALLY hard.

Our pastor has been doing a fantastic sermon series about, in part, just enjoying the season and not overextending ourselves. I'm sure there are thousands of people who are in the same shape we are, and thousands more in situations worse. I know that. And I'm grateful for what we have, because it could be much, much worse.

Last week an incredible snow storm came through. We had to reschedule Hannah's birthday party. My entire family back home is without electricity. My parents, one grandma and my brother have no phone service. It's very likely that their power won't be restored until midnight on Christmas. I'm sure they've lost a refrigerator full of groceries, as Mom just went on Thursday before the storm hit. Trees are still down everywhere, so they can't get out and we can't get in. It's very possible I won't be with my first family during Christmas.

I'm trying to not lose sight of the holiday's purpose. I'm trying to figure out what I need to get at the grocery store to somehow recreate what we'd normally do at Mom's. It's not the same, but the kids deserve more than a Mommy who's completely bummed out.

But not only for their sake, I don't want to miss Christmas. I don't want to miss an opportunity to really stop and reflect on how much God loves us that He sent His SON for us. For me. I don't want December 26th to roll around and feel like I just missed the train. That awful feeling of missing out and regret is something I don't ever want to feel when it comes to Christmas. Or really, life in general.

I hope to be able to bake some cookies and possibly listen to those great sermons again to help refocus and shift my attention on what I have, right here in this little house. I am looking forward to Family Communion tonight at church; it is always a holy experience. Maybe I need just a little more Jesus in my heart.

A Christmas Meme

1. Eggnog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate! I've never been an eggnog fan. Bleh.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wraps.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White. I've always preferred white for my house. But this year, I had the urge to get colored lights... but then didn't want to pay for completely redoing all the lights for the house. After Christmas sales, maybe?

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I used to. Just found what the (fake) mistletoe I used to hang... I might put it up this year.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Anything that my Mom, Grandmas or Aunts make. Most notably, mom's corn pudding (kind of like a cornbread), or the ham my grandma makes.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? I have several, but one that really sticks out is the Christmas my cousin and I got dollhouses that Papaw made. He made everything himself and it even had wallpaper and carpet inside. I'm hoping to restore it for my girls, but I'm waiting until the little one gets out of her "color on the walls" phase.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember how, exactly, but I was young... Kindergarten, I think. First grade at the latest. My best friend told me I'd get coal because I said there was no Santa. I wasn't trying to be mean, but rather informative.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We have always celebrated at my Mamaw & Papaw's house on Christmas Eve. We would then celebrate at my other grandma's house and our house on Christmas Day. Now that I'm grown, married and a Mommy, we have LOTS of houses to visit... it makes Christmas busy.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Our tree is decorated with nativity themed or angel ornaments. I feel like the focus should be on Jesus. That said, I also LOVE snowmen. I have enough ornaments to decorate a (small) tree with just snowmen. Also, I get the girls a special ornament each year, so I could probably do a (small) tree with just those and any they may make in school.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? LOVE it.

12. Can you ice skate? I can, but not well. No twirls or anything fancy, but I can get myself around the rink.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? From #7 above, the dollhouse my grandfather made. Now that he's gone, I adore everything he ever made or gave me.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Focusing on Jesus and trying to teach my daughters the real meaning of Christmas. I also think it's important to reach out to help those who might be struggling. Family and Friends.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Anything chocolate. There's a dessert my grandma calls "Pete's Cake" but I've also heard other people call it "Baskin Robbins Pie." Oh goodness! I also enjoy all the different Christmas cookies... seven layer bars.. this one dessert that basically sandwiches a cream cheese mixture between chocolate chip cookies. I like sweets WAY too much!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Being with family. Reading the Christmas story on Christmas Eve. Our Christmas service and communion at church. Dressing my girls alike and taking their pictures. Baking cookies. Giving cookies to people.

17. What tops your tree? An angel.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I looooooooove finding the "perfect" gift for someone and wrapping it up so nicely. But in all honesty, I like getting gifts, too.

19. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Not yuck, but not totally yum. When I'm in the mood, I guess.

20. Favorite Christmas Show? Charlie Brown Christmas and any of the claymation kids movies. It just doesn't feel like Christmas without them. (I like Miracle on 34th Street, too, but love the new one... especially when Santa tells the deaf girl that she is beautiful in sign language). Polar Express is becoming a fav.

21. Saddest Christmas Song? I'll Be Home for Christmas. The thought of not being home for Christmas breaks my heart. When I was a little girl, "The Little Drummer Boy" used to make me cry. I always felt bad for the drummer boy.

22. What is your favorite Christmas Song? It's hard to narrow it down to a few. I love, love, LOVE Christmas songs! My top favs are, in order:

"Religious"
O Holy Night - Particularly John Berry or Nat "King" Cole's versions. I cry nearly every time I hear it.
Mary Did You Know?
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Joy to the World
Beautiful Star of Bethlehem
O Little Town of Bethlehem

"Secular" (for lack of better words)
Sleigh Ride - Pops Orchestra Version
Carol of the Bells
The Christmas Song - Nat "King" Cole
White Christmas - Bing Crosby
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives
When My Heart Finds Christmas - Harry Connick, Jr.
The Gift - Aslin Debison - Makes me cry nearly every time I hear it.

What the Recession is Teaching Me

I've thought about posting this, or something like it, for a few months now.

A lot of people are struggling this year. It's astounding to think about. At Thanksgiving, people who had jobs said their job was the thing for which they were thankful. I was reading comments from the winner of the Pioneer Woman's Kitchen Aid mixer give away. The question was, "What do you want for Christmas?" and one of the winners said, "A job for my husband." I pray that family gets what they need for Christmas.

We have been working through Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University" CD's. It's not easy and given that we've had to pay for major car repairs and a new motor for our furnace recently, building our emergency fund is a task we're still working towards.

I also quit my part-time retail job. The reasons are many, but basically, by the time I drove to work and paid parking, those few hours weren't worth it. We really weren't making money. Plus, I wanted to be able to enjoy my family this Christmas season. I didn't get to do that last year because of the crazy hours. Add to all that, I'm hoping to either work from home doing customer service OR start a program to get my Master's in Education (for free, no lie) and start teaching.

So, suffice it to say, we've been tightening our belts. And really paying attention to what we spend and what we spend our money on. (Ack, I ended a sentence with a preposition... sorry about that.)

So, finally, these are a few things the recession is teaching me.

* Use leftovers. I know, it's sounds crazy. But for a really long time, we didn't really eat leftovers. We wasted them. When you think about it, how stupid is that? Wasting food = wasting money.

* My kids only need so many clothes. And toys. Really, I can go overboard buying clothes for my girls. Working in a kids' retail store made me "fall off the wagon" because before I went to work there, I did a LOT of consignment shopping. When I was working, I quit doing that as much. But I'm back on the wagon. I'd LOVE to go back to Columbus to these really awesome consignment stores my aunt took me to a few years ago. She (and those stores) got me into consignment shopping in the first place. It was the first time my daughter ever had clothes from Gymboree and Gap.

* The beauty of cheaper stores. Take Aldi, for example. I had shopped there intermittently, but never regularly. I can consistently get bananas there for $0.39 a pound. At my regular grocery store, they are usually $0.59 a pound, $0.49 on sale. Considering how often I bananas, that's a great deal!

* Wants vs. Needs. If I stop and think about it, I don't NEED most things on store shelves. There is a REAL difference when you consider Wants vs. Needs. I could never thank Dave Ramsey enough for that lesson.

* It's ok to ask for things you need as gifts. I feel like a bit of an idiot to admit that I just got this. Yes, for Abbie's 1st birthday, my parents got her a pair of shoes. Shoes for Abbie are, indeed, a big deal, what with her needing wide sizes and a different size for each foot. But you know what else she and her sister need? A new table & chairs. The one I bought them a few years ago has essentially bitten the dust. Both chairs are broken and a hazard. They need/I want shelves for their toys. And I just realized that it's ok to tell grandparents, aunts and uncles that. It's ok if they don't get 10 baby dolls this year. They are bombarded with "stuff" year after year but no one has thought where all that stuff will go, except Hubby and me because WE are the ones who have to deal with all the stuff everyday.

When did we start to believe that everything we give or get as gifts has to be fun?

Granted, it IS more fun that way, but you know what's not fun? Having 10 dolls and nowhere to put them.

I remember watching "Little House on the Prairie" when the girls each got a silver cup, a peppermint stick, a pair of red handmade mittens and a sugar cookie. These treasures made Laura exclaim that it was the best Christmas ever.

When did Christmas get so... big and focus on... more?

We've lost focus of the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas. If there is a silver lining to people not having as much money, it's that it forces us to stop focusing on material things and focus on what matters most: our family and friends. It makes us be creative. It makes us take stock of what we have and gives us pause when we think of what we really need compared to what we want.

Busy IRL (In Real Life)

I remember the early days of chatting when people talked about their "real" lives, and we referred to it as IRL. Do people do that anymore? I haven't chatted in forever.

Anyway, Angie over at Not in Kansas has been posting some good stuff. I was particularly struck by something she wrote in this post (it's a short post, so worth the few minutes it takes to read):

"It’s like this (as an example): If I want to be a person who has clean baseboards, I have to come to a DEEP realization that they’re not going to magically get (or stay) clean! SOMEONE has to clean them, and have a plan for WHEN and HOW they’re going to be cleaned."

In the comments section, I told her that we must be living parallel lives, because I'm in the same boat.

Last week, I began my Spring Cleaning. Not an easy feat with two little "helpers" running around, but slowly but surely, I'm getting there. Last week, I focused on the kitchen. I washed walls and cabinets. I cleaned out old medicine that had expired. I still have a few little projects, one being cleaning out the fridge, that didn't get finished because I was out of commission thanks to a mild migraine.

I also have half of the TV/Play room's walls wiped down, but that room needs some intense, deep cleaning, as it's where we spend the majority of our time. Toys need to be gone through and purged. Everything needs to be dusted and I need another package of Magic Eraser to get some scuffs and crayon markings off the walls.

Last night, I watched "Clean House" on the Style Network to inspire me. Nothing gets me inspired to clean and purge like that show! Wowza!

**********

Apart from the cleaning, other things have been keeping us busy. Abbie had her yearly check-ups in Cincinnati a couple of weeks ago. Everything is great! Praise God! I tell you, I'm just so thankful what He has done in her life. When I think of what might have been and what is, it's just overwhelming.

Also, my oldest "baby" graduated from preschool this week. Having helped in the planning, setting up and tearing down of the reception, I am pretty much worn out. I also have a pretty good idea of how it will be when she's in school and how few parents want to help with stuff. While I realize that everyone is busy and short on money, if we all did a little bit, the burden wouldn't fall on a few. A mom can hope, can't she?

So, here's to cleaning and purging! And a wonderful summer before the official First Day of School! I hope everyone is finding something to enjoy.

As soon as I can, I'll write more... 'till then, enjoy an iced tea or lemonade!

Help me, Jesus!

If I'm having one of "those days," you'll often hear me fling up this prayer to Heaven: "Help me, Jesus!" Borne partly from frustration and partly from the realization that without divine intervention, I might not make it through the day.

Days like last Wednesday. It had rained here for days and Wednesday offered the promise that Spring will, indeed, come. Wednesday gave us a hint, just a sneak peek, at what the next couple of months would have to offer: sunshine, a slight breeze, the perfect day to go play at a park.

In theory, going to the park was a perfect idea. Hannah was out of pre-school on Spring Break, so I knew the park would be more crowded than normal. But we all have a case of cabin fever, and any time the sun shines, she asks if we can go outside to play. You know, because if the sun is shinning, it must be warm enough to play outside. Only, on Wednesday, it was.

Abbie hadn't had a nap, but that isn't so uncommon when the schedule is changed a bit. My thought was that she would play and wear herself down, then fall asleep on the way home, allowing me have only one child underfoot while I made dinner.

She enjoyed the baby slide and was having a great time, but kept wanting to run over to the swings. Not knowing that if she got too close, she'd have her clock cleaned, I kept herding her back to the slide. Finally, one of the two baby swings was available. I darted over with her. She loved it. She kept saying, "Whee!" and smiled that perfect little toothy grin.

Then a dad came over holding a baby who looked to be about a year old, maybe. Wanting to be a "good mom," who teaches by example, in this case, taking turns and sharing, I tried to get Abbie out of the swing so this new duo could have a turn. "Tried" being the key term here. She latched her fingers around the chains so tightly, I had to literally pry her little fingers from them.

Then It happened.

"It" being the Perfect Storm of a toddler being tired, cranky, and not wanting to give up her swing.

This normally happy, adorable little girl threw a fit. She arched her back. She screamed. She collapsed into a heap of a toddler in tears onto the muddy ground, covering her entire back side (even her hair) with mud. I picked her up and she kicked like a mule. I tried standing her up and managed to get myself covered in mud, thanks to her kicking. I tried redirecting her with a sippy of water, then with her bottle, aka her soothie. Nothing doing. She was done. And so was I.

Of course, other mothers (or perhaps Nannies? Both? With this crowd, it was hard to tell the difference) kept shooting me these looks. You know what I'm talking about. As if their child(ren) had never done such a thing. As if I was Loser Mother.

I called out to Hannah and told her we had to go, which brought on the pleading of, "It's not fair!" You're telling me! I agreed that it wasn't fair, and promised to bring her back on the next nice day.

Yes, Abbie fell asleep in the car on the way home. Less than a mile from the park. No, I didn't get to enjoy cooking with only one child needing my attention. I was exhausted. Cooking was just another chore on Wednesday night. On top of all that, I had to work that evening.

So Thursday dawned with new hope. For the first part of the day, I was happy to put the previous day behind me. Hubby came home during his lunch hour and told me that, no, he hadn't bathed Abbie the night before like I had asked. He apologized and started running bath water. Around 1 in the afternoon, I gave my now happy toddler a bath and she was enjoying it. So much that rather than risk another "fit," I decided to let the water out first, then get her out of the tub, thinking that without the water, she might not resist.

Seemed like a good plan, only when I tried to pull her up and out of the tub, she stiffened her body and gave me this look. Then, she went in the tub. Oh, how I wish it were only "number 1," but no, my baby does it all the way. With toys still in the tub and not understanding why a diaper is not covering her bottom while she does this. I scream in shock, which prompts Hannah to come running in to investigate. I shoo her out, then get the baby out of the tub, slap a diaper on her bum and then set to cleaning up. Hannah, being a typical 5-year-old, keeps trying to check it out, asking a thousand and one questions until I finally say, "Come in here for a second." I show her what her sister "produced" and explain that I have to clean it out of the tub, then I have to disinfect the tub and the toys. "Oh," she says, very clear on what has just happened and wanting nothing to do with the clean-up.

"Help me, Jesus!" I exclaim.

So, just when the bathroom has been cleaned and things have started to settle down, I notice that Hannah doesn't quite look right. I feel her forehead, then get the thermometer. Low-grade fever of 99.9. I don't panic, but keep an eye on her. Then, about an hour before Hubby should be home, she throws up.

By the end of the night, her temp had reached 101.1 and she'd thrown up twice. I fell asleep in the rocking chair and Hub proved himself "Husband of the Year" by taking over and even popping a lasagna into the oven.

The next day wasn't quite so adventurous. I took Hannah to our pediatrician's office where they ruled out strep throat and some sort of flu by way of a nasal swab. We then went downstairs to the lab to get Abbie's AFP blood work done.

In times like these, Jesus really does help me out. I have no idea why I feel the need to bark out a "prayer" like that, as if I need to yell just a little to get his attention.

I found this wonderful, and for me, timely, blog post:
http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-letter-to-young-mom.html

It kind of helps to know that I'm not the only one.

Motherhood can be lonely and isolating, especially when you are a "Stay-At-Home Mom." Little adult interaction. Days spent doing kids stuff will make you wonder why you spent all that money and effort getting your Bachelor of Arts degree, after all. Not to mention that our society doesn't value motherhood, and in many ways, the at-home mother.

During days (or weeks) like these, I keep thinking of the Bible verses (perhaps it was parable and for the life of me, I cannot remember the exact quotation or where it is. Sarah? Angie? If y'all are reading, I could use some help). But the gist of the story is, even when you have a "bad boss," work as if you are working for the Lord.

Even though my children aren't my bosses, I am working for them. I am giving my time to them and am praying that my time with them is good and life-building. Even on crazy days like these.

Busy being a mom.

This past week, there has been so much snow where I live, my oldest daughter wasn't in pre-school once.

I'm starting to wonder if she'll even be able to have a Valentine's Day party at school. We bought valentines just incase.

Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer (see her link in my Blogs section) found this wonderful post that I'm going to share with you. It's called Today I was a Mom and I think you'll like it.

Because we've all had those days. Shoot, I had that kind of week this week!

Take yesterday. Just as we left to go to the grocery store--and we had to go because we were out of the essentials, down to soap and TP--the snow started pouring down. There were 36 wrecks in the town where I live. We weren't even half way through the store when my toddler thought it would be fun to start taking her shoes and socks off. Then she started throwing them overboard. Then she started throwing groceries overboard. (And I just remembered why I didn't get any eggs.) Big Sis thought it was funny and giggled that wonderful giggle, but this time, Mommy didn't think it was funny. I told her that by laughing, Little Sis thought it was a game and could she please stop? In the end, I saved $100 in coupons and by using my discount card, but had to go back in because some little mischevious monkey threw her tobogan overboard. Thank God for good people and Lost & Found.

Things have been insanely busy, even though nothing usually gets done. But the rewards are so awesome. I've been hugged and kissed (even the baby has started trying to kiss--so sweet!). The oldest girl has patted me so sweetly and she's been holding my hand a lot. The little one has nuzzled me too many times to count. Though the house is tidied, it soon becomes a wreck again, but it doesn't bother me so much because my girls and I are making memories.

These Mothers Share Special Gifts

I thought I had posted this before, but can't find it. Please know that I know I'm not a saint. I struggle and fail on nearly a daily basis. My child's obstacles and difficulties are so far less than so many children. Also, I don't really see my daughter as "handicapped" though most people would, especially when they hear about the syndrome and the things she's already been through, at the precious age of 1. To me, and in reality, she is the sweetest, most precious perfect child who happens to have a thicker tongue, large abdominal organs and one leg and arm longer and thicker than the other.

Someone sent this to me last year, when I was struggling and wondering how on earth I would do all that Abbie needs me to do. I hope this touches your heart as it has mine.

Above all, please share it with a mother or father of a special/medical needs child.

THESE MOMS SHARE SPECIAL GIFTS
by Erma Bombeck

(published without permission...hope she doesn't mind)

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

'Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecelia. Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.' Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles, 'Give her a handicapped child.'

The angel is curious, 'Why this one, God? She's so happy.'

'Exactly,' says God. 'Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.'

'But has she patience?' asks the angel.

'I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world, and that's not going to be easy.'

'But, Lord, I don't think that she even believes in you.'

God smiles, 'No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.'

The angel gasps, 'Selfishness? Is that a virtue?'

God nods, 'If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says Momma for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.'

'I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.'

'And what about her patron saint?' asks the angel, pen poised in midair.

God smiles, 'A mirror will suffice.'

Planning and Reflecting

Forgive my previous post in which I wax poetic about my love for Sam's Club. Just a few nights ago, I created an online shopping list for "Click 'N' Pull" for Abbie's party. While her birthday is this Sunday, we are waiting until next Saturday to celebrate. Turns out late August is a busy time on our street, with 4 birthdays occuring in about a week or so.

So I'm blessed to be planning Abigail's first birthday party. About nine or ten months ago, I wasn't entirely sure I'd be able to do this. I had faith and I hoped and prayed, but I can't see into the future, so nothing was certain. Nothing is ever certain, and that is one of many lessons I've definitely learned this past year.

As I've written here before, I've also been doing a lot of reflecting. I found a couple of websites that give a pretty good description of Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome (click here) and an excellent description of genomic imprinting (basically, the why/how Abbie "got" BWS)... (click here and read specifially the regulation part, which is what is "messed up" with BWS). For the past year, I've been trying to find a way to explain to people what genomic imprinting is and how if in those early, early days of development, if one "little" thing goes wrong, there is a domino effect and I think this definition helps me out with that.

I cannot wait to share photos from Abbie's actual big day and the party next weekend. Planned for the 6th is a cookout with hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad and cake at one of our local parks.

I'm praying for beautiful weather, fitting for the celebration it will be.

For Abbie

Because I'm sappy and because I've been looking for ways to teach both my daughters, but especially Abbie, self-worth. And because the TV show, "Touched by an Angel" and "Little House on the Prairie" are pretty much the only decent shows on daytime television.

This is what I'd like to teach my children, taken from an episode this week:

From the TV Show, “Touched by an Angel” during the episode, “An Angel on My Tree”

You also have a Father in Heaven and he loves you more than you can imagine.

A boy with Tourrette's syndrome asks the angel, Monica, "How could God love me? I’m a mistake."

She responds, "God doesn’t make mistakes. What God sees as perfect is very, very different from what the world sees. The world sees faces that are beautiful and ugly. The world sees bodies that are strong and are weak; the world sees people who succeed or fail. But God sees hearts. He sees the love in your soul. He sees the beauty in your spirit. And that’s the only thing that finally matters. That’s the only thing that lasts. The person that you are, not the body that you’re in."

Our Home

There are a LOT of misconceptions out there about West Virginia, a lot of which have been highlighted during the primary elections here. Frankly, I have been tired of the stereotypes out there for a Very. Long. Time.

I would hope that the reason people see West Virginians the way they do is because they are ignorant. They simply do not know what life is like here in West Virginia and they certainly don't know what the people here are like.

John Denver got it. That's why the first words of his song start, "Almost Heaven. West Virginia..."

Because of our mountains, we have rivers. The oldest river in the Western Hemisphere, the New River (quite appropriately named, don't you think) ends in West Virginia. We have the Gauley River, which confluences with the New River in a magnificent cascade to form the Kanawha River, which in turn flows through the center of the State, and directly through the capital city of Charleston, the largest city in West Virginia. These rivers in addition to the Cheat, Blackwater, Tygart, Monongahela, Ohio andcountless others offer tremendous recreational opportunities.

The tallest building in Charleston is 25 floors tall,which, if you think about it, is a plus; how could you possibly build a skyscraper more beautiful than a mountain?

The capital city stretches throughout the long river valley encompassing both hill and dale. The Charleston airport, the largest in the State, sits on top of a mountain. The crime rate in Charleston, including the entire population of the Kanawha Valley (around 200,000), reflects that of the entire State, the lowest in America. No more than a handful of murders are committed each year.

Charleston has no subway systems, but, truth be known, you can get from one end of town to the other, even in rush hour traffic, in less than ten minutes. There are three major interstate systems going through Charleston, the smallest city in America to make such a claim.
The entire State has six different interstate systems, meaning, from Charleston, you can reach Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Louisville or Charlotte in four hours or less....

Ah, but once you leave the interstates, the drive becomes a thing of wonder. Two lane roads, winding up and down the mountains, offer amazing views and historic places, small towns, poor in wealth but rich in history. West Virginia is the birthplace of Mother's Day, in Grafton; and Father'sDay, in Fairmont.


We have the oldest covered bridge still in use. We have walnut festivals, strawberry festivals, apple festivals, pumpkin festivals and buckwheat festivals; arts and crafts fairs, sternwheel regattas and ramp dinners.

We have Bridge Day on the New River Gorge Bridge, over 800 feet above the New River, the only standing structure in the United States that, one day a year, allows parachuting and bungee jumping.

We have college basketball, and minor league baseball and hockey, and, just like all of America, Friday night high school football.

We have white water rafting, and skiing, and hiking, and caves, and waterfalls, and camping in every direction. We have Sundays where a leisurely drive in the car can take eight hours, and only cover 100 miles.

We have bed and breakfasts, and resorts, and golf courses, and museums, and the Greenbrier Hotel. West Virginia has more natural beauty and wonder than any person could ever imagine.

We have all of this, and yet our greatest asset is our people. West Virginians are good people. We care about each other. We talk to our neighbors over the backyard fence. We grow tomatoes for the entire neighborhood. We turn around in each other's driveways, and yell, "howdy" when we do. We sit on the porch on warm summer evenings, listening to crickets, and watching kids catch fireflies.

We loan a hammer, or a cup of sugar. We don't take two-hour lunches, but we do spend a few minutes each day with a cup of coffee, shooting the breeze.

We rarely get in a hurry. We have relatives just down the street. We don't just loan someone a socket wrench, we help them fix their car. We share recipes, and gardening tips, and our last cup of coffee. We baby-sit each other's kids, we housesit each other's dogs while we're on vacation, and we loan each other our cars if we have to get to the drugstore. We ask each other if we need anything as we're going to the market.

We celebrate each others accomplishments, and we cry over each other's disappointments.

We are a friendly folk. We are West Virginians. Mountaineers are always free! Free to take the time to enjoy life, and hold each moment in our hearts, forever.

If you are proud to be a West Virginian, then pass this on.

Public Service Announcement

Ok, because you're my friends and I love you and I want all my friends to have things I love, like a Kitchen Aid mixer, I'm telling you about this. But you MUST ACT TODAY!

Through Crystal's site (in my blogs links to the right), I found Ree's website, The Pioneer Woman. And Ree rocks. Just last week, she gave away a kick-butt digital camera and scanner. I found her site too late for that, but this week, she's giving away a Kitchen Aid mixer.

Please go to this site and make a comment. That's all you have to do to be entered for the give-away.

Her site is so cool, even without the give-aways. She lists recipes and posts phenomenal photos of the ranch she shares with her husband. Theirs is a beautiful love story, but you'll need the better part of an afternoon to read it all in one sitting. (do that, though. It's worth it! So sweet.)

So, go there. Introduce yourselves. Have fun!

Going Green, one baby step at a time

Last April, I happened to be home sick on, or near, Earth Day. I tuned in to Oprah to see her Earth Day 2007 Show. It's a show that, in some ways, changed my life.

For more info about the show, go here: http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200704/tows_past_20070420.jhtml

Almost immediately after the show, I began looking for earth friendly household cleaners. I was shocked that a member of a family interviewed experienced awful health problems linked to household cleaners. Did you know that ingredients of the most popular brands are actually considered to be toxic waste? Neither did I. At the time, I had found a website that will perform a search on cleaners' ingredients and you can see how toxic they are. If I come across it again, I'll post it.

I had wanted to get some of the cleaners featured on the Oprah show, but didn't want to spend that much money. I started out slowly, getting most items from Target, the Method brand.

After coming home from Cincinnati, I decided I'd like to start recycling. We got into practice at the Ronald McDonald House, which practices recycling. So, it was an easy transition. I had been saving plastics and cans in used grocery store bags until a couple of weeks ago, when I got some recycling bins. It's now something I'm becoming more aware of... so many items we use so often can be recycled.

Just last week, I went shopping for laundry detergent and found phosphate-free laundry detergent at Wal-Mart. That was pretty surprising. I got some and will let you know what I think later (if anyone is remotely interested).

The next step is to get the eco-friendly light bulbs. I've been putting off doing that, again, because of cost, but I think in the long run, the cost won't be as much as I think. Meaning, though more expensive now, the bulbs are supposed to last longer and save energy, hence, money, with our electric bill.

I know this will sound cheesy, but it feels good to do something that is good for our planet. In that sense, it's doing something good for my kids, too.

On the Bookshelf

While Abbie was in the hospital, I had a rare opportunity to catch up on reading stuff other than "Cat in the Hat" and other kid-friendly fare (I can't ever get used to not saying toddler!). I got several magazines, including this month's copy of O Magazine, Good Housekeeping, and Redbook. There were some very good articles I may talk about later.

I haven't gone back to reading the magazines because they were in the bag that also had a can of formula that got crushed in transit. So, we have a duffle bag that is covered with gritty powder. Everything else in that bag is also covered with gritty powder. Rookie mistake. Next time, I'll have gallon bags in which to put the cans of formula.

As for books, the ones I had been wanting to read for a really, really, really long time and got to do so are: Ava's Man by Rick Bragg, The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, and One Writer's Beginning by Eudora Welty.

I'm over halfway through with Didion's book and can't decide between the remaining to which to tackle first. Any input from anyone out there?