What the Recession is Teaching Me

I've thought about posting this, or something like it, for a few months now.

A lot of people are struggling this year. It's astounding to think about. At Thanksgiving, people who had jobs said their job was the thing for which they were thankful. I was reading comments from the winner of the Pioneer Woman's Kitchen Aid mixer give away. The question was, "What do you want for Christmas?" and one of the winners said, "A job for my husband." I pray that family gets what they need for Christmas.

We have been working through Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University" CD's. It's not easy and given that we've had to pay for major car repairs and a new motor for our furnace recently, building our emergency fund is a task we're still working towards.

I also quit my part-time retail job. The reasons are many, but basically, by the time I drove to work and paid parking, those few hours weren't worth it. We really weren't making money. Plus, I wanted to be able to enjoy my family this Christmas season. I didn't get to do that last year because of the crazy hours. Add to all that, I'm hoping to either work from home doing customer service OR start a program to get my Master's in Education (for free, no lie) and start teaching.

So, suffice it to say, we've been tightening our belts. And really paying attention to what we spend and what we spend our money on. (Ack, I ended a sentence with a preposition... sorry about that.)

So, finally, these are a few things the recession is teaching me.

* Use leftovers. I know, it's sounds crazy. But for a really long time, we didn't really eat leftovers. We wasted them. When you think about it, how stupid is that? Wasting food = wasting money.

* My kids only need so many clothes. And toys. Really, I can go overboard buying clothes for my girls. Working in a kids' retail store made me "fall off the wagon" because before I went to work there, I did a LOT of consignment shopping. When I was working, I quit doing that as much. But I'm back on the wagon. I'd LOVE to go back to Columbus to these really awesome consignment stores my aunt took me to a few years ago. She (and those stores) got me into consignment shopping in the first place. It was the first time my daughter ever had clothes from Gymboree and Gap.

* The beauty of cheaper stores. Take Aldi, for example. I had shopped there intermittently, but never regularly. I can consistently get bananas there for $0.39 a pound. At my regular grocery store, they are usually $0.59 a pound, $0.49 on sale. Considering how often I bananas, that's a great deal!

* Wants vs. Needs. If I stop and think about it, I don't NEED most things on store shelves. There is a REAL difference when you consider Wants vs. Needs. I could never thank Dave Ramsey enough for that lesson.

* It's ok to ask for things you need as gifts. I feel like a bit of an idiot to admit that I just got this. Yes, for Abbie's 1st birthday, my parents got her a pair of shoes. Shoes for Abbie are, indeed, a big deal, what with her needing wide sizes and a different size for each foot. But you know what else she and her sister need? A new table & chairs. The one I bought them a few years ago has essentially bitten the dust. Both chairs are broken and a hazard. They need/I want shelves for their toys. And I just realized that it's ok to tell grandparents, aunts and uncles that. It's ok if they don't get 10 baby dolls this year. They are bombarded with "stuff" year after year but no one has thought where all that stuff will go, except Hubby and me because WE are the ones who have to deal with all the stuff everyday.

When did we start to believe that everything we give or get as gifts has to be fun?

Granted, it IS more fun that way, but you know what's not fun? Having 10 dolls and nowhere to put them.

I remember watching "Little House on the Prairie" when the girls each got a silver cup, a peppermint stick, a pair of red handmade mittens and a sugar cookie. These treasures made Laura exclaim that it was the best Christmas ever.

When did Christmas get so... big and focus on... more?

We've lost focus of the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas. If there is a silver lining to people not having as much money, it's that it forces us to stop focusing on material things and focus on what matters most: our family and friends. It makes us be creative. It makes us take stock of what we have and gives us pause when we think of what we really need compared to what we want.

The Great Debate

I've been mulling around with the idea of going back to work outside the home. I say it that way because staying home to raise children is work, though American society would, at times, portray staying at home to be easy.

It isn't. In fact, when I made the transition from full-time employee and part-time student to full-time mother and part-time student when my oldest daughter was born, I had a really difficult time. I was so used to being creative and interacting with other adults and my world went from going full-speed ahead to being dictated by the nursing schedule of an infant.

I do love being home with my children. But I also think that they miss out on socialization by not being in play groups or in some sort of care on a semi-regular basis.

Financially, things have been tight. I look back on the past 9 months and am amazed that we have made it. The short answer is: God has provided. It's been really close at times, and even though we finally sold our old house and we finally settled a lawsuit within the past 4 months, the fact is, that by being a one income family with more financial obligations than money means that we are playing catch up after many long months of juggling. It's exhausting and I've been praying specifically about finances.

So.... I am again in the middle of the Great Debate of the 21st Century. Ok, maybe it's not that big of a deal, but there has been a lot of discussion that began in the 90's and continues through today. It was even a topic of discussion on "Sex and the City" when Miranda, a successful lawyer aiming for partner, becomes pregnant. The question of whether or not women can have it all came up.

Personally, I don't think women can have it ALL. Something has to give at some point. Actually, at many points through the day. If a woman is a successful physician or attorney, her time at home is limited. If a woman chooses to focus her time on her family, her career can (and I believe a lot of times, will) suffer. Even for those of us who chose career paths far from what we originally planned, opting to take administrative jobs rather than go to law school, for example, we cannot have it all.

The sitter or day care will eventually call and tell you that little Suzy has a fever, can you please come now? And despite the fact that you have an insane day ahead of you, full of meetings or work obligations, you must go. Now.

It's a very difficult tight rope to walk. One slip either way and you feel awful. For me, I was always guilty. I always felt bad about my kid being in day care, but I had to contribute financially. She did well. She needed to be around other kids and other adults. She benefited from the education programs at her day care. But at the end of the day, I think what she and I both wanted was for us to be home together.

I think that once children are in school, being a working-outside-the-home mother can be easier. You don't feel guilty about being away from them because they're supposed to be in school. And, a bonus with a lot of after-school programs is that they can get their homework finished before even going home.

It's a tough decision that every woman has to make. A lot of us feel that we are better mothers when we work outside the home. A lot of us feel that we should absolutely be home to raise our children to school age. Then some of us (me) are somewhere in the middle, not knowing what the exact right answer is, and we hope that we're getting it right, somehow.

What's been keeping me busy...

...other than the kids, is a pretty significant project that affects one of my kids.

I just learned this week that the WV Birth To Three program, which provides therapy services for Abbie (occupational, developmental, speech & physical) is facing a $3 Million shortfall for FY '08-'09. That's not chump change. It's a big deal, especially for families whose services could be affected; however, so far, one of the TV stations covering this story says "services may be cut, families may be wait-listed" and other such explanations with no more feeling in their voice or care on their face than a dead lizard.

The NICU's in Charleston, Huntington and Morgantown are always at capacity. There is even a waiting list for the NICU's. Can you believe that?!?? A waiting list for the NICU's. Good grief!

Where do people think kids who go home after being in the NICU go? I mean, the majority of these kids need follow-up care because being either a premie or sick enough to warrant being in the NICU usually means there's a big enough problem that requires intense follow-up care. For some kids, it's a few months or a few years; for others, that kind of care is a life-long process.

Please go to the link below and watch the video. Please leave comments on the news channel's web page. If you're really feeling like crusading, I encourage you to contact our state Senators and House of Delegates members, as well as the Governor's office.

http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/17457074.html#

Watch the "Today" Show on Tuesday, April 8th!!!

The guy I talked about in a recent post, Jay, and his wife will be on the "Today" show on Tuesday, April 8th.

Obviously, they'll talk about "The Biggest Loser," but I'm hoping that since his wife will also be with him, that Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome will also be discussed.

How exciting! I already have my DVR set to record it.