**I've tried several times to correct the formatting in this post, but Blogger does not want to cooperate. My apologies.** For a couple of months, I've felt that God has been trying to get me to readjust the way I see myself. Two books are on my To-Read list: Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst and Head to Toe by Annie Downs. It's no coincidence that blog posts like these keep finding their way to my laptop screen:
You're the Best God's Got ,
"That Mom" , and countless others that encourage me to stop comparing myself to other people, especially to other women, wives and mothers. I'm not supposed to have their strengths, and just because I don't share their strengths doesn't mean I'm weak or less. It's easier said than done, that's for sure. Remember that line in
Pretty Woman?
"The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?" And that's where I've been stuck for a
very long time. I believe that I'm not enough, no matter the situation. I'm not enough as a wife. I'm not enough as a mother. I'm not enough as a daughter. I'm not enough as a Christian. It's been hard, and sometimes, when I watch
a show about a man who spent 23 minutes in hell, I begin wondering if I'm an
unsaved Christian. Add to this:
- Stuff going on with our church
- My grandma being in the hospital for 7 weeks after a fall, and her doctors now advising us to consider Hospice
- Marriage issues, which aggravate the "I'm not enough"
And the result is a very tired, very sad, and very heavy Me. I wish I could just deal and be done with any one of these issues, but they have snowballed into an avalanche. I am physically sore from all the stress.
If anyone knows of Mommy Get-aways, or inexpensive conferences or anywhere at all where I could go to be renewed and refilled, please let me know.
1 comment:
I hear you. Oh my, do I hear you.
If you go to my public blog, you'll see a link to a vimeo video that lasts about 90 minutes. While it's not a getaway for real, for me it was a real blessing that helped me give not only other women grace but give myself the grace I so desperately needed. It's a video of the Listen to Your Mother production, and it features 12 very different women reading about motherhood. Because the perspectives are all so different, it really makes you think, and it highlights how cool it is when we can give ourselves and each other the grace to be ourselves. Anyway, I think you'll like it. So when you can steal 90 minutes for just you, I totally recommend it.
There is a place in West Virginia (Rosemount, Rosedale? something like that?) called Faith Mountain. I found out about it years ago when I was burned out and in ministry. Focus on the Family told me about it. When I went there, it was just starting up and they had an old a-frame cabin available for $10 a night. I know things have changed there now; the old directors have given it to someone else and I think the a-frame cabin has been replaced with much more modern ones. But Faith Mountain may still have something affordable. I'd check it out and see if it might be someplace you could visit. The one thing that I remember being so neat was the drive from the airport to the last town where I could get groceries and then onto Faith Mountain. Every so often, up in the hills, I'd see a big cross. Apparently, some guy put them there; I can't remember the story details. But for me at that time, they were like crumbs left to mark a trail, one that would lead me to some time for just me and Jesus.
I hope you are encouraged. Know that I'm praying for you and thinking of you.
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